As the COVID-19 pandemic seems to be subsiding in the U.S., we know many of you can’t wait to cure your cabin fever by taking a summer road trip. Stuckey’s would like to remind you to stay safe and obey all state and local traffic laws while you’re out rediscovering America.
As a public service, in fact, Stuckey’s is providing you with this short list of laws for each state, so that no matter where you’re traveling on your next family vacation by road, you’ll avoid costly tickets or trouble with the law.
You’re welcome!
Alabama – No driving while blindfolded
Like, was this really ever a problem in Alabama?
Alaska – It’s illegal to tie a dog to your car roof
Well, there goes the Romney’s road trip to Alaska.
Arizona – You’re not legally required to wear a helmet on your motorcycle over the age of 18.
That’s a no-brainer – literally
Arizona – Don’t honk your car horn anywhere that serves cold drinks or sandwiches after 9 p.m., specifically in Little Rock.
A reminder to the guy behind me in the McDonald’s drive-thru when I need a McRib sandwich and Shamrock Shake at 10:30 at night.
California – It’s against the law for women to drive in a housecoat.
Guess dad’s driving the kids to school this morning.
Colorado – It’s illegal to drive a black car on a Sunday in Denver.
Taking that yellow Prius to the Broncos game isn’t looking so bad now, is it?
Connecticut – A fire engine should not exceed 25 m.p.h. – even on the way to a fire.
“Why, yes, officer – I AM going to a fire.”
Delaware – You should not change clothes in your vehicle.
Nor should you drive naked. (Don’t ask.)
Florida – By law, you must feed the parking meter if you tie an elephant, goat, or alligator to it.
Can you tie all three to the same parking meter, or do you have to get a separate meter for each one?
Georgia – It’s illegal to spit from a car or bus, but it’s OK to spit from a truck.
But are you only allowed to spit from the back of an El Camino?
Hawaii – If you’re over 12, you can legally ride in the back of a pick-up truck with no safety restrictions at all.
“Well, officer, his last words were, ‘Wheeee!’”
Idaho – In Coeur d’Alene, a police officer must either honk or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching a vehicle that people are having sex in.
What were you thinking, anyway? You know all of them Idaho potatoes got eyes!
Illinois – It’s illegal to drive a car without a steering wheel.
How is that even possible?
Indiana – You can’t stick your head through the sunroof of your car in South Bend.
Everywhere else in Indiana, however, you can stick whatever you want through the sunroof.
Iowa – It’s illegal to throw bricks onto the highway in Tiffin, IA, unless you have written permission.
“Yep. Got my brick-throwing papers right here, officer.”
Kansas – You can’t transport dead poultry in this state.
Does that mean there are no drive-thru windows at KFCs in Kansas?
Kentucky – It’s illegal for your pet to molest a vehicle in Fort Thomas.
“Look, Karen, I know animals have rights, too. But it just ain’t natural for your Chihuahua to be so attracted to my spare tire.”
Louisiana – By law, a woman’s husband must wave a flag in front of her car before she can drive it.
We hear it’s a white flag of surrender.
Maine –You’ll be ticketed if you park in front of Dunkin Donuts.
Cops need a place to park, too.
Maryland – It’s a crime to swear from a vehicle in Rockville.
What the #@&%?
Massachusetts – You cannot drive with a gorilla in your backseat.
Because he’s already called shotgun?
Michigan – It’s against the law to sit in the middle of the street and read a newspaper.
Stuckey’s Pecan Blog Roll is totally fine to read, however.
Minnesota – You’re a public nuisance if you drive a truck in Minnetonka that leaves mud, dirt, or sticky substances on the road.
Public nuisance? We got other names for people like that where we’re from. Words we can’t say while driving through Rockville, Maryland.
Mississippi – If you’re riding in a car with a person of the opposite sex while barefoot, the two of you are legally married.
“But, I swear, Daddy, we was both wearing flip-flops!”
Missouri – You can’t honk someone else’s car horn.
“My dog is in so much trouble.”
Montana – Unless you have a chaperone, it’s illegal to have sheep in your truck.
More sheep jokes running through my head than when I’m counting sheep at night.
Nebraska – By law, drivers on mountains should drive with caution near the right edge of the highway.
Um. This is Nebraska. They seem to be making mountains out of molehills.
Nevada – It’s illegal to ride a camel on the highway.
That’s “I’d walk a mile for a camel.” Not “I’d ride a mile on my camel.”
New Hampshire – It’s against the law to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria.
We really want to know the story behind this law.
New Jersey – If you’ve ever had a DUI, you cannot own vanity plates in New Jersey.
“That’s right, officer. My name’s actually Dwayne Ulysses Ingraham, so that’s my initials back there on my plates.”
New Mexico – It’s illegal for cab drivers to reach out and pull potential customers into their taxi.
Do you still tell them where you’re going, or do they tell you?
New York – It’s against the law to disrobe in your car in Sag Harbor.
It’s also illegal to get out of your car, disrobe, and get back in your car. (Again, don’t ask.)
North Carolina – It’s illegal to play in traffic.
Some of us had mothers who actually used to condone it.
North Dakota – You’re breaking the law when you put a penny in an automatic parking ticket machine.
“C’mon! Everybody knows that the penny is for your thoughts.”
Ohio – In Cincinnati, taxi drivers may only wear shorts from May 16 through Labor Day.
Does that mean they’re shirtless and shoeless, too?
Oklahoma – It’s illegal to read a comic book while driving.
It’s also illegal to watch any movies made from comic books on your smartphone while driving.
Oregon – By law, you must yield to pedestrians when driving on the sidewalk.
However, pedestrians in the streets are fair game?
Pennsylvania – It is illegal to ride in a boat on a trailer while it’s being driven on the highway.
… even if you’re making motorboat noises while doing it.
Rhode Island – It’s illegal to ride a horse on a highway for the purpose of racing or testing the speed of the horse.
That’s what local high school tracks are for.
South Carolina – In Hilton Head, it’s unlawful to store so much trash in your vehicle that it attracts rats.
Most of us would have been in jail throughout our 20s if it wasn’t for the rat-attracting clause in the law.
South Dakota – You only need to be 14-years-old to get your license in South Dakota.
Some people drive like they’re 14 anyway.
Tennessee – In Nashville and Davidson County, people riding scooters, in-line skates, or roller skates must obey the speed limit and move in a single file.
We assume people in ice skates can go wherever they please, however.
Texas – Speaking of roller skates, it’s illegal for someone wearing roller skates to be pulled by a car.
Again, we’re assuming people in ice-skates can be pulled by whatever they darn well please.
Utah – By law, birds have the right of way on all highways.
And no, if someone gives you the bird, it doesn’t mean they’re giving you the right of way.
Vermont – It’s illegal for cars to backfire.
Your hooptie and the blowback are not welcome in Rutland.
Virginia – Women are prohibited from driving a car on Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.
Again with the flags? Get a few of your friends together and have a parade!
Washington – A motorist with criminal intentions must stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
“So then he says, ‘Chief, I’m calling to let you know I’m coming into town with criminal intentions. I plan on stealing the ladies’ hearts.’”
West Virginia – It’s legal to eat roadkill.
But you’ll want to remove it from the road and eat it someplace safe, like the side of the road.
Wisconsin – It’s against the law for a person to ride a bicycle with their hands off the handlebars.
Kid: “Look Ma! No Hands!”
Officer: “Look Ma! A $50 fine!”
Wyoming – Like West Virginia, Wyoming also just recently passed a bill on April 5, 2021 that allows you to eat any roadkill you find along the highways of Wyoming.
There’s even a webpage for recipes!
Now that you know the rules of the road, you’re ready to take your ultimate family road trip through any state like the good law-abiding citizen you are.
And though it’s not against law it would be almost criminal not to stop into a Stuckey’s location and grab a couple of our world famous Stuckey’s Pecan Log Rolls and other road trip treats, including our deliciously flavored pecans, mouthwatering popcorn, and pecans, cashews, peanuts, and other nuts by the bagful.
No Stuckey’s on your way yet? Then visit stuckeys.com and order all the Stuckey’s merchandise you love.
Photo: West Chester County Police via Facebook
Stuckey’s – We’re Making Road Trips Fun Again!
Whether your next road trip is by car or by rail, it’s not really a road trip without taking Stuckey’s along. From our world famous Stuckey’s Pecan Log Rolls to our mouthwatering Hunkey Dorey, Stuckey’s has all the road trips snacks you’ll need to get you where you’re going.
For all of the pecany good treats and cool merch you’ll need for your next big road adventure, browse our online store now!
Stuckey’s – We’re Making Road Trips Fun Again!